The story of a Girl Pt.1

This is the story of a girl , who didn't cry a river , nor did she drown the world . No , she knew that all the tears on Earth wouldn't solve her problems , so she saved her tears for necessary moments . This story is one of a girl who didn't know how strong she was or could be , she just knew she was .. different .
As a young child she lived with her mom and their roommates . The roommates had a son a year older than her , the two were a dynamic duo , the very best of friends . They played together , made messes together , even potty trained together . These roommates ; however , were different than her and her mother , and the girl knew this . She noticed that in their family their was a dad , and in hers , there was not . She never really noticed until she was about 4 years old . One day she asked her mom , 'Mommy , how come we don't have a dad?' At that moment her mom knew , that it had hit her . She saw the signs that her daughter was become aware of the fact her dad was gone , but how do you explain to your 4 year old baby girl that you have no clue where her dad is ?
One day , some time after their roommates had moved away , there was a knock on the door . The little girls mom told her to get it and she couldn't believe her eyes . A tall , thin man , with blue eyes and long hair was standing there . She called for her mom who then came and picked her up . After inviting the man inside the little girl looked at him and said , "You're my daddy aren't you ?" , and when he smiled at her , she leaped into his arms and said , "I missed you daddy."
From that day on , her dad would come over every Sunday afternoon and sit in the living room and talk with her . This went on for months until one day he suggested they go to the drive ins and see a movie . She was so excited to go somewhere with her dad finally ! Until .. He called her at her mom's work and told her he couldn't make it , to which she replied , "I never want to see you again !"
This decision seems a bit rash to you doesn't it ? He cancels one event and all of a sudden he's a bad dad ? Well , it was a bit more complex . See , this little girl called her daddy just about everyday . Sometimes she would get him , other times not  so she would do what any other person does , and leave a message .. But he would never call her back .
To be continued ...
-Elle ♫

Arts & Crafts

What are arts and crafts to you ?
Do you consider them two different topics ?
To me they can be connected yet very separate .
So , I am in high school , and I am about to take an Arts and Crafts class with my best friend .
My teacher says that we will be doing paintings , working with charcoal , and making collages . Now that all sounds very crafty , but art is a little different to me . Not that art can't be any of those things , but that it means more .
To me art is an expression of personality , an outlet so to speak . Art is a way of saying out loud what your words have failed to communicate . Not to mention , art is not just about coloring and glitter . Art is music , dance , painting , drawling , opera , poetry , art is in everything . I'm not sure who it is that made the activity of crafting , "Arts and Crafts" , but they obviously don't see it from the perspective that I do , and I know I am not the only one .

I had a friend in middle school who talked a lot , but could never really say what she meant , but she was and amazing sketch artist . Her pictures are some of the most amazing things you could imagine coming from such a young girl .

I had a few friends that wrote poetry when they couldn't articulate how they felt . It's not just an outlet for depression or anger . It can be a way of saying how happy you are , or how much you love someone . Art just makes things easier . Even if you aren't the best at drawing or painting , you may be good at writing or sewing . That's right , sewing is art too ! Anything you conjure up with your hands is ART !
The most important thing about art , is never , EVER , being ashamed of yours . If you draw something , write something , sew something , mold something , OWN IT .
That is your masterpiece , your work of art , and you should take pride in it . Not everything will come out the way you picture it in your head , and you may not always posses the same artistic abilities , but you should always own your art , because your art , is YOU . ♥


-Elle ♫

Let's talk ..

Lets talk about something everyone seems to have a formed opinion about . Homosexuality . Yep , i said it .
I wanna talk about being gay . Now I know many people try to avoid this topic cause so many people get heated over it , well im one of those heated people . Because I believe that love is love no matter who you love .
Speaking from someone playing for both teams , i know what its like to want to be with someone and not be allowed to .
My first girlfriend . She was tall , and beautiful , bright eyes and soft hair . She was perfect and all I wanted was her . When i found out she wanted me too , i had butterflies for weeks . But those butterflies fluttered away after a while . We couldn't tell her family , cause they would never accept it , i wouldn't tell mine cause i feared the same thing , even though my oldest brother is gay i still had a fear . Then there was school . We couldn't kiss or hold each other , cause for every one person who would've supported us there would've been 5 shooting us down . I lived in constant fear til it led me to end our relationship . A special place in my heart will always be for her .
I had never in my life been attracted to women , but i fell in love with that one . You can't control your feelings , so bagging on someone dating within their same gender is like telling a Black person not to date a Mexican , or an Asian not to date a Russian . Are these things common ? Not really , does it make you double take a little ?
Sure , but who are YOU to tell someone else who to love ?
Love is in the heart and in the soul .
I have family members who stayed in the closet so long , the dust fell around them , and when they came out , they left a trail of dust and pain as they exited their closet .
So , before you judge someone for who they date , ask your self , how YOU would feel , if it was you .
-Elle ¥

The love of family

Where do most people stand on step families ?

The majority of people I know feel they would be better off without a step family .

I had seen horrible step families , I had seen movies like Cinderella and just figured if they’re not blood family , they won’t love you the same . I had this idea etched into my brain for years . 

In 2004 , my father told me he was getting married and he wanted me to meet his fiancé and her kids . The day I met them I was practically in love . ♥♥♥ We played for hours , talked , and ran around the apartment . Rachel , my soon to be step mom , had four kids when I met her . A teenager , a pre-teen , an elementary grade kid , and a toddler . When I met them , I had no idea how much they would mean to me later on in life .

In 2005 , my dad rented a 4 bed room house for them to all live in . He then wanted weekend visitation , so in the beginning I spent every other weekend there , then after some time , it was every weekend .

 It didn't take long for my siblings and I to start fighting like cats and dogs , especially me and the second oldest girl , Lielani . However , the oldest , Ashley , and I weren't exactly seeing eye to eye either . See , my parents would leave Ashley in charge a lot , which considering she was only 14 , it was hard to accept that 4 children should be under her control . My siblings got out of control while my sister was babysitting , and they would give her the worst time about everything , me included , until one day I realized just how much stress she must be under having to hold down the fort .

One day we got into a big tiff after which we made a pact to never blow up on each other again , to always respectfully pull each other aside and talk out or differences , and since that day we have only had two or three fights .

My older brother , Tyler , was at the only boy at the time , which had to be hard having 3 half-sisters and a now a step sister . We still don't always see eye to eye , but when we were younger we used to play Game Cube for hours .

My baby sister , Mystie , was always like Ashley's mini me , which in a way makes her a lot like me , cause Ashley and I are a lot alike . Mystie was a very clingy child , she loved to hang on my legs and get piggy back rides , the whole nine .

On February 4th of 2006 , my baby brother Kelric was born . He was 10lbs and 10onces , and definitely a C-section .

On June 21st of 2006 , my father and his bride to be got married in a beautiful outdoor setting . Mystie and I were supposed to be flower girls  , but our flower petals were left at home ..

Four years later , due to dramatic legal reasons , my dad and Rachel were force into separation and eventually divorce , and I honestly thought that would be then end of my relationship with this family . Oh boy , was I wrong ! 

In November of 2009 , I moved in with my former step mom , my three oldest siblings , and my baby brother , along with my older sisters fiancé . My mom and I were having troubles finding a living situation , so Rachel was kind enough to let me stay there .

During my stay , my older sister and her fiancé had their first baby girl , my first born niece ♥

After I moved out , my second oldest sister popped up pregnant , on June 18th of 2011 , my second beautiful niece was born .

And just this Monday , Ashley gave birth to her second baby girl . ♥

My step family is my life , even though they technically aren't family anymore , they are family in my heart . I have gained so much from my 8 1/2 years with this family .

My siblings and I are still super close and my nieces are my whole world <3

I guess the moral to this story is , never judge you outcome , by another person’s situation . Remember to approach everything with an open minded , and even if something happens to the marriage , don't let it ruin your new relationships .
-Elle ♫

Lights , Lens , Photography

Have you ever take an picture so amazing ? With the perfect lighting ? And just wondered how you captured such beauty . I have , and it is just the most amazing feeling . When you see beauty and just  capture it perfectly . Everyone has their favorite thing to photograph , mine is nature .
Flowers are my most favorite thing to take pictures of , but I also take pictures of trees and lakes , cause to me it's all beautiful .

Photography is all about lighting . The way the light reflects on the object you're capturing , and hits the lens of your camera is the key to a perfect picture . An interesting fact that I've learned over my picture taking time , no matter what you are photographing , sun light is always the best light . The picture looks more natural and the lighting is almost always perfect .

Shadows are pretty cool in photography as well , when the light deflects the image on to another surface , is just beautiful . If you couldn't already tell , picture taking is a passion of mine ! I cannot go one week without taking pictures . I find beauty in every aspect of nature and I do anything to capture that beauty on camera . A lot of people think you may need an expensive camera , and extra lights , a flash , a gyroscope , etc . Honestly , all the amazing pictures I have taken , I took with my cell phones .

If you want to get into photography find something that you like to take pictures of , something that you capture well , and take tons of pictures of it . As with any other thing , practice makes perfect ( :

-Elle ♫