Monday, September 3, 2012

Respect ... Expected or Earned ?

I'm sure over the years you have been told to respect your elders , but the question is ... Are they all respectable ? See , there are people that believe that you should respect your elders simply because they are older , and have been around longer , so it is assumed that they are wiser and know more . But is that always the case ? Because I know from experience , old age doesn't automatically make you a wiser person .
There are people that will argue both sides of this story . Where do I stand on this topic ? I believe respect is something a person must EARN not that it should be handed to them for any one reason . I have never been one to tolerate bullshit or disrespect , regardless of age or social status , so the idea that I should respect the 'Adults' in my life has never been a followed philosophy . I understand the reasoning behind it , though . Back in better times , the older you were , the wiser you got . You aquired information about life , learned little techniques and short cuts for things , and you were a looked up to and respected person in your community . However , times have changed . Not ever older person , or even 30 year old you meet is smarter or wiser than you . A lot of them are simply as immature today as when they were fresh into high school . So what about these people is respectable exactly ?
I am not the 'Turn The Other Cheek' kind of gal either . I don't give respect unless it's do , but I don't take disrespect , EVER . There are certain lines you do not cross with me . You don't talk badly about me or my family , you don't put your nose in my business , and you dont bring people into a debate of ours , that has nothing to do with them . Those are the main things that get me upset faster than any other thing . And I assure you I will go rounds with any person who tries to test that theory .
This recently got my mother and I into an argument . See , my mother was raised in the 80's with strict , military parents . So , respect your elders is kind of tattooed into her skull , not to mention she is way less confrontational than I am . I recently had a run in with a man on Facebook , a GROWN man , who decided to cause problems with me for no reason over a loving status directed towards my boyfriend . I wanted to correct him , cause not only was it none of his concern , he also had his facts wrong . I was told by my mother that it was disrespectful of me , that I had no right , and that if I started anything with people outside my age group , she was shutting down my social media networks ... ALL OF THEM ...
Well , that's just a risk I am willing to take . So where do you stand ? Do you believe that any one older than you deserves your respect because they have been around longer , or do you believe that respect is given where respect is due ?


  1. A lot of people are in jail and or dead because they got into a senseless argument. How many people blow up and then have to apologize for things that were said? How much better off are the relationships those people are having for all the fuss?

    Your mother is only trying to keep you out of trouble so you can finish grow9
    +8256ing up safely.

    Being respectful is personal. It is not about the people you will meet. Not cursing insulting or saying things you do not mean is about self control and maturity.

    Sure there are ignorant, immature older people. Do not lower your actions to mirror theirs. Honor & respect them because they have survived what you might not have even seen yet.

  2. I think *everyone* is worthy of a basic level of respect, and "elders" should probably be given a bit more benefit of the doubt than others because the likelihood is that they *do* know things you do not. Maybe not about everything, but certainly a fair number of topics that those younger simply have not been exposed to as yet. And, incidentally, I think that basic level of respect is due to people even if they have not earned it. Common decency and respect is not the same thing as liking someone, or approving of their behavior, but it's a case of two wrongs don't make a right. If you go around blatantly disrespecting someone else, you've allowed yourself to be drawn down to their level, regardless of the ages of the people involved.

    On the other hand, sometimes the things you can learn from those older than yourself is what *not* to do. In this instance, I think the lesson to be learned is not to be having irrational debates on social media; I've yet to see any of those conversations that portrayed either party in a good light.

    In your particular scenario, you say yourself that it's none of this guy's concern, so ignore his opinion. If it doesn't matter, don't make it matter. Sadly, online trolls don't have age limits, so learn to be the better person. That's how you get to be a respected elder yourself someday.

  3. I appreciate your comments ; However I have never engaged in , nor to do I plan to engage in , something that will become a legal matter . I know what battles I cannot win , and I know what wars are meant to be fought . Cheri , yeah I did say it isn't his concern , but you also don't know the entire story . He was extremely out of line and knew the boundaries he was crossing , and my mother in law ( who happens to be his best friend ) even said he was way out of line , and that I had every right to be mad . You also don't know that my mother blamed me for him saying anything simply because I 'Should have never posted a status from my bf's account .'
    Mom , I know that there are older people who know more and are more experienced , and I have no problem taking in their opinions ; However , I know far too many who expect to be treated like they are high and mighty based off of age , and I refuse to treat some one special due to an age difference . Of coarse there is a certain level of respect you should give to every human being upon meeting them , simply because you don't them . I am just saying that once I have met that person , if they are un-respectable , I wont respect them , regardless of whether they are 8 or 80 , period .

    1. Thinking a person is someone to admire and treating them decently are not the same thing. I am glad you are learning and growing. I think you are figuring it all out. Happy blogging. Sometimes writing can really help us articulate and think about what we are trying to get across. This has been a productive conversation I think.